Sexpert reveals what to do if new lover isn’t as good in bed as your ex

Moving on from an ex is hard enough as it is. However, what do you do when your former flame was good in bed too?

According to research, nearly two-thirds of married people agree their ex is on their mind far too often.

Meanwhile, in another study, 43% of single women and 47% of unattached men took it further by admitting that they regularly have sex with ex-partners while looking for a new lover.

But why is sex with an ex just so tempting?

Relationship expert Tracey Cox admits there are lots of reasons people jump back into bed with their ex in an article for Mail Online.

These include an already established connection and knowing what you like.

Nearly half of people admit to sleeping with their ex while single

But what happens if you do move on and you find your ex was still better in bed than your new partner?

Sexpert Tracey shared a number of tips to overcome this issue so that it doesn’t become a big problem.

She said you need to find out what the magic ingredient was with your ex.

Tracey wrote: “Ok, sometimes it’s chemistry (which is either there or it isn’t). But other times, the ‘sex spark’ is caused by something you can recreate with your new partner.”

The expert said that sometimes what is good about sex with your ex is that you know it isn’t going to last, so it makes the sex more adventurous.

Frustrated girlfriend sad in bed thinking of relationship problems while boyfriend sleeps beside her
Tracey suggests spicing things up with your current partner

So why not try spicing things up with your current partner and relax to make it just as fun.

She also says you need to let your current partner know what you do and don’t like.

“Once you’ve honed in on why the sex was good, communicate what you’d like more or less of to your partner. Far too often, we expect our partners to be mind-readers,” she wrote.”

“Sometimes, you get lucky (like with your ex) and you find someone with the same sex personality as you. Most of the time, you need to teach your partner with tactful, sensitive feedback.”

Tracey also says it’s essential not to tell your current partner how great sex with your ex was.

Couple having sex in bed
She says you need to tell your partner what you like in bed

She warns: “They will never – and I mean never – forgive you. You’ll still be reassuring them when the grandkids come along.”

Another thing to consider when comparing sex with your current partner to your ex is reminding yourself why you split up with them.

Tracey writes: “It’s very easy to idealise or catastrophise past relationships. If the experience was awful and we now detest the person, any good parts are forgotten. If we still hold a flame, the bad gets glossed over and the good becomes inflated.

“Even if the sex was fantastic, the rest of the relationship wasn’t or you would still be with this person.”

Despite all this, the expert says if your current relationship is “so-so”, it might mean you’ve settled for someone you really aren’t that attracted to.

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