‘I was infatuated with my married colleague – until he offered to leave wife’

A sexpert has a theory about why we’re all so bad at finding ‘The One’.

Nadia Bokody believes it’s human nature to be drawn to people who are off-limits – such as those in committed relationships or high-powered colleagues at work.

Research indicates the “forbidden-fruit effect” kicks in when something is out of reach, sparking our interest and getting us hooked on having it.

This can be the case with food, shopping and even relationships.

Nadia, a love guru from Australia, admits she’s fallen victim to this theory in the past.

In her news.com.au column, she confessed: “In my early twenties, I fell for a married colleague.”

Nadia spoke about the “forbidden-fruit effect”

Nadia continued: “After connecting over a shared love of running, we began meeting a couple of times a week to hit the local jogging track.

“Perhaps it was the endorphins, or a desire to escape the body insecurities plaguing me at the time, but I found myself developing an unhealthy infatuation with my running mate.

“There was a delicious kind of agony in going to bed each night filled with unrequited limerence. It meant our weekly runs took on a new sense of excitement and, for a while at least, my fixation on my body image was replaced by the euphoric high of chasing his feet along our jogging route.”

After months of flirting, Nadia’s running partner confessed to having feelings for her.

He even considered leaving his marriage to pursue a relationship with her instead.

Nadia Bokody
Nadia realised she was chasing relationships with people who are unavailable

As soon as the bloke became available, Nadia realised she was no longer interested in him.

She recalled: “With the barriers to our union removed, I realised – much to my own surprise – I wasn’t attracted to him at all.”

The experience taught the writer a lot about the “forbidden-fruit effect”.

And whole still finds herself being drawn by the occasional off-limits flirtation nowadays, she tries to focus on relationships that are good for her “self-worth”.

Nadia added: “While I’m still tempted to chase an elusive figure back down a well-worn path, these days I find myself far more excited to lace up and head down a less familiar track – with someone who runs toward me.”

For more lifestyle stories, sign up to our free Hot Topics newsletter here.

Source link