‘I struggle to orgasm after relying on porn in lockdown – but found help’


The pandemic saw many of us tuning into more porn than we’d usually watch – and I’m no exception.

When sex with someone outside of your household was made illegal, hooking up with others as a single woman was just off the cards.

So unsurprisingly, my porn consumption went up – and it went up a lot.

After a few months of masturbating with my imagination and not being able to hook up, I found myself turning to adult sites more than ever before.

And while I assumed I’d stop craving adult content as social distancing measures lifted, this hasn’t actually been the case.

You see, what happened was lockdown made a once very sexually active Sophie extremely lazy in that department.



Ofcom noted that porn consumption went considerably up in lockdown

A quick Google search and I can tune into X-rated content that helps to fuel my imagination.

But as I’ve got so used to the raunchy flicks, it’s become a struggle to climax at all.

I think this is a combination of overdoing it on porn sites or getting sucked into the unrealistic portrayal of sex.

It brings a whole host of insecurities I’d never thought of before too.

When we could have sex again out of lockdown I didn’t feel such a need to go and seek it with another because porn could fill that void along with a sex toy.



Sophie Blackman
Sophie Blackman spoke to experts to see if porn consumption in lockdown led to addictions

So what’s the point in making any effort with guys or women?

I haven’t and still haven’t, despite once seeing hook ups as a treat to myself.

Now they’re a chore compared to getting off to porn and that’s not healthy.

That’s not fun, it’s lazy and a big problem porn ‘addiction’ causes.

So to take the power back in my sex life, I decided to contact award-winning senior therapist, author and speaker Sally Baker.

We talked about my porn habits and orgasm struggles in a bid to show our readers the problem can be beaten.

'I struggle to orgasm after relying on porn in lockdown – but found help'
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Explaining why porn actually makes us rather lazy and unimaginative in the long run, TV therapist Sally said: “Allure and desire need an element of separation for passion to build.

“Many people are bored with themselves let alone their partners and so many of the distractions we had in real life have been taken away by the pandemic – reducing once rich and varied lives down to the size of a computer screen.

“Porn is a promise it can never keep.”

Sally continued by explaining how viewing adult content can form into an “addiction”.

She said: “What porn promises is greater sexual satisfaction that will make sex feel more exciting; more elaborate; more technicolour than the monochrome familiarity of how sex is in real life.”



Sally Baker
Expert Sally Baker shared her thoughts with the Daily Star

Sally added: “People’s dissatisfaction with porn sets them on a compulsive search for their next sexual hit and as soon as they’ve experienced it then its no longer fresh enough, strong enough or satisfying enough.

“So the search for sexual gratification fuels a porn addiction looking for the next fresh hit.”

To beat porn ‘addiction’, Sally detailed how it is “similar to any other compulsive addictive behaviour”.

She said: “Psych’s used to think it was only people who ingested substances like booze or drugs that could be truly called addicts. However, compulsive behaviours as varied as Compulsive Buying Disorder or gambling are now recognised as having addictive elements to them.”

Sally added: “People struggling with compulsive behaviour often feel their compulsion or addictive behaviour overwhelms them or is beyond their control. However, when their compulsive behaviour is explored it isn’t a single event at all but a series of much smaller incremental steps that led to someone feeling the need to use porn for instance.

“Those incremental steps, once they are recognised can be interrupted by a change in behaviour or a change in how someone thinks and feels about themselves and these are techniques that can be easily learnt in a therapeutic setting.”

On if porn consumption can lead to bigger addiction and problems, Sally explained how it can stop someone expressing themselves with someone else sexually – the exact trap I have fallen into and many of us have.

It’s important to remember “porn addiction” isn’t an official diagnosis.

There’s a huge debate on whether pornography addiction is real or a myth – and whether it constitutes a “real” addiction or if it is a mental disorder.

But it is now becoming more recognised as an increasingly significant problem across the Western world and around the globe.

The NHS explains: “Experts disagree about whether it’s possible to become addicted to sex.

“Some sex and relationships experts believe people can become addicted to the enjoyable feeling or “high” experienced during sex and sexual activity, but others disagree.”

Sally said: “It is back to the promise of porn. The use of porn often increases exponentially especially when people are dissatisfied with their real-life sexual activity.

“When porn is integrated into a satisfying and varied sex life it need not have any negative impact. However, when it becomes the sole focus of someone’s sexual expression or when they would rather watch porn than have real-life sex it is an indication that a harmless distraction has perhaps tipped into an addictive behaviour.”

Luckily, there are therapists such as Sally Barker who can help people through a porn “addiction”.

The charity Relate also offers support to those who are obsessing over sex or adult content.

You can find out more about therapy services or live chat sessions on the website here.

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Luckily, there are therapists such as Sally Barker who can help people through a porn ‘addiction’.

There are also products that could be useful if you’re struggling to get “in the mood” without watching porn.

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